Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Gifts for the Medical Student Who Has Everything

1. Sometimes I feel like my professors aren’t cutting it and I want to just stay home, watch Kaplan videos and read Goljan. Well here’s a new solution! Why pay thousands of dollars to listen to elderly doctors with broken English lecture for hours on end? Introducing Medical School In A Box!
I wonder what their match rate is?
2.  The biggest problem med students have on a daily basis is remembering EVERYTHING. The funny part is we spend so much time trying to remember miniscule little facts that we start to forget stupid stuff like putting sox’s on both feet. Never fear DR. USB is here. I guess it won’t really help with remembering the little stuff, but it’ll definitely help with the bigger document styled things. 
3. Forget those cutsie plush microbes that I keep seeing everywhere. This is actually more like it! Giant microbe primordial putty is kind of like a mixture of silly putty and agar that you can play with. And it’s probably great for grossing out friends.
4. Favorite drink of med students: COFFEE. So how about this cool mug! You can’t go wrong with enabling drug abuse. ;-) 
5. This pillow would add a bit of pizzazz to any dreary med student apartment. Though I’ll admit the price tag is a bit excessive ($204!!!) for something that you’ll use to sleep on! You might need to take out some more loans just to pay for it. To each his own I guess. 

6. Defibrillator Toaster: Never wait for your toast to pop up in the conventional way again. Imagine dashing in to the kitchen opening the bag of bread only to find two pulseless pieces needing emergency resuscitation. Quickly, you pull out your toaster defibrillator and find a shockable rhythm! CLEAR!!!! OH no they’re in a-systole! Guess you’ll have to call time of death and have breakfast! 
7. Back to always forgetting stuff, I seem to have an excess of sticky notes hanging around. But these ones would really brighten up my workspace. They also have ones of the larynx, mouth, brain, vocal cords, ear, skeleton, and almost every other part of the body you can think of. 
8. Never be late again with this clock! It tells you when to study, when to sleep, and when to shower! 
There were a few other fun things that I thought about adding like a jello mold of the heart which I decided looked a little too realistic for consumption, and the game Operation, which is nice but come on we’re not five…well not physically anyway. Most of these gifts are supposed to be fun and light hearted, because we’re stressed out most of the time, and as much as we’d like another copy of Robbins or the newest edition of first aid, we already have enough to read! 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Cupboard Under the Stairs

Here’s to best friends who’ve never really grown up!
Ironically, I do live under them… 

Monday, January 7, 2013

Cone of Shame

My dog, Copper recently got neutered, the worst part for him wasn’t that he got his man parts chopped off- it was that he had to wear the “cone of shame.” I came home today after class to find the cone half hanging off his collar and tiny pieces of it littering his cage. 
After I took it the rest of the way off of him he spent about fifteen minutes rubbing his head and ears on the carpet. I guess his face itched. 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Last Day of Break

Cue Taps....

It's my last day of break and I'm trying to decide if I want to actually study for the pathophys test I have in two weeks or enjoy my final few hours of freedom by watching Chariots of Fire.
A more responsible student would have no issues with this decision. But, since generally speaking I'm not a "responsible student" during legal holidays (Polish, US, or otherwise), and since today is technically the Epiphany even though I don't actually know what the Epiphany is, even though it's marked on my school calendar (except for the general definition of a good idea). I'm having some second thoughts about hitting the books.

I wish there was a way they could make hypokalemia and metabolic alkalosis a wee bit more interesting.


Six pages, I can do six pages!!!! And then I'll of finished the chapter!!!!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Winter Break 2012

WOW what a great break. 

You know a break was good when you actually feel rested and able to return to classes. I'm not quite ready to run back to patho lecture or listen to Gargamel berate our entire seminar five minutes into class; but I'm getting there. I don't have class till next Monday anyway. 

I have a few things I want to talk about specifically concerning my break, namely the type of people you see on airplanes and attempting to study at home but for now I'm just gonna jump through a general overview. 

I left Poland three days after class got out, and ended up on the same flight to the East Coast as several of my classmates. While I was going through security one of the Polish security guards asked me out- unfortunately I was too concerned about putting my shoes back on to respond coherently. It's a shame, he was really good looking.  

I arrived back in the US and made it to baggage claim before there were any real issues. As it happens I packed an apple to eat on the plane for breakfast. Unfortunately, I forgot about it and it was still in my bag when I set foot on US soil. Did you know they have fruit sniffing dogs in the airports? Well they do. So I got chewed out by the lady who had the dog for having an apple and then was sent to agriculture claims to forefit my apple to the authorities. It took me about an hour and a half to just get out of the airport. All because of an APPLE!!!! I know the concern for the ecosystem and all, but gee can't they just take the damn thing and call it good! 

I got to my Dads house and spent a few days there. During which time I woke up one morning with a searing pain in my eye, blurriness with some oozing, and extreme sensitivity to light. Apparently, I scratched the cornea in several places at some point between 3am and 6am. It hurt like hell and the doctor could see it without the opthalmoscope. So I had to get drops and patch it for about a week. The patch alone would have been fine, except I'm pretty much blind and need both eyes to see even with glasses. So what's my dad do in the grocery store, he walks away. It took me 30 minutes to find him- I considered having his name called on the loud speaker. 

We drove to my grandmothers house (my dads parents) for Christmas, because it's the halfway point between my moms and my dads. It's also nice because I get to see the whole family. 

Christmas day my sister and I drove to my Moms at the same time a blizzard decided to hit the coast. Odd seeing as it had been one of the warmest winters on record up until that point. We did the whole Christmas thing in the evening when my brother and sister-in-law, and niece got there: she's so cute!!! 

The next day my sister, mom, and stepdad drove to the local mountain to stay for a few days and ski. I used to be a ski patroller before I came to medical school and I miss it so much. It was nice to be back on the slopes and to see all my patrol buddies again!

We got back on Saturday and went to a sled riding party on a hill that was closed for winter maintenance. Unfortunately we had to actually walk up it (usually we just have someone drive, but we forgot two sets of chains). 

 After that my break was essentially over, my grandparents (my mom's parents) drove me back the seven hours south to my dads. It was kind of interesting since they have a truck with no back seats, but my grandma and I switched back and forth between the middle and the window.

I left on New Years day, ready for another "fun filled" year in Poland.